Posted by: husbandandfatheroffour | May 31, 2012

Baking Brings the Devil Out

So what happens when your wife likes to bake but is a perfectionist too?  Let me tell you that at times it is not pretty.  While her cupcakes, cakes, cookies, etc. always turn out good it is the process of her making them you have to watch out for.  I will tell you a story of wrath and the survival of it.  It begins with her and the annual Christmas Cookie Exchange she is part of every year.  In this party everyone must bake something from scratch and they have to have as many dozen as there are guest plus one extra for charity.  So she of course likes to be different and tries to make something that is very different than what any other person is making.  It was a Friday and she was off work that day so she could make her cookies for Sunday’s party.  As I came home from work and walked through the door I hear this loud noise and a scream of “Ahhhh what the hell!”  Then as I am coming into the kitchen I see her take a whole thing of freshly made dough and throw it into the trash. I turn to sit my lunch box on the bench in the kitchen like I always do and turn back to see my wife staring at me.  I go to smile at her and all of the sudden I get a, “Don’t say an F’ing word!”  It wasn’t just what she said but how she said it.  I thought for a second I might be in the movie The Exorcist and her head was going to spin around.  I was frozen stiff and lost for a second.  I didn’t know if I should run or just start apologizing.  It was to late to do anything.  Again “Just don’t say a F’ing thing!”  Her face was fire red now and if this would have been a cartoon smoke would have been coming our her ears and nose.  My thought was to just slowly back away never taking my eyes off her until I was out of sight.  I was taught to do that when a wild animal was staring you down and about to attack so I thought this was as good as any situation to test that theory. It was to late because what I was thinking was behind what my mouth decided to say.  “What’s wrong?  Are you having a bad day?”  Immediately following that I was Ralph from a Christmas Story and lightly uttered the words “OHHHH Fudge.”  The whites of her eyes turned red, she took one step forward, and my life flashed before my eyes.

To be continued……….

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Responses

  1. I know how this ends….. good cookies… right?

  2. OMG you know im sooooo right there with you manno!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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