Posted by: husbandandfatheroffour | August 8, 2012

God and Adoption Our Story Part 1

In August of 1997 we were blessed with our first child.  We have always wanted 4 kids and this was our first step.  As time went by we were enjoying our time with our daughter but also started to wonder why my wife had not gotten pregnant again, especially since we had never taken any precautions to prevent it.  Also during this time period I had taken a job and we moved to a suburb of Indianapolis.  All told it had been 4 years when my wife started seeing a specialist there. 

The first step the doctor took was putting my wife on Clomid.  This was to help stimulate ovulation and better our chances of her getting pregnant.  We did some research and found that taking Clomid also up the chances of having twins.  We started having fun talking about and wondering what it would be like if that happened.  Would they be twin girls, twin boys, or one boy and one girl?  We talked about names, color of the room, and how hectic our lives would become.  While living in an apartment that was barely big enough for two adults and a child my wife started having symptoms of being pregnant.  One evening while my dad and stepmother were down visiting she went to the store and bought a pregnancy test.  After taking the test it showed a positive for being pregnant.  We were so excited and couldn’t believe that finally it had happened.  But looking closer at the test we did notice that it was a very faint positive.  My wife started researching that brand of test and found that a lot of people had a false positive and even read about one husband testing positive.  So we thought why not and I took the test also and low and behold it said I was pregnant.  At first I was joking around saying we are going to be so rich if that was true but then it turned to anger and sadness as I could see all the joy and excitement leave my wife and turn into tears and sadness.  It would have been so much easier to have just gotten a negative right from the beginning.  It was the first time I questioned God about what he was allowing to happen.    

After about a year of taking the Clomid and upping the dosage, my wife still had not gotten pregnant.  The next step the doctor wanted to try was IUI, increasing the Clomid again and giving her a HCG injection, which was to stimulate ovulation and stimulate the ovaries to release an egg.  I was going to have to give her the shot.  I joked about how I was going to love this and how I would ignore what the doctor said about how to give the shot and do it in a way she would remember.  There was a very good chance with the shot that she could get pregnant if everything worked right.  Again we were excited and talking names and all other baby things.  We had tickets to see Keith Urban at the state fair and that was the same day I was going to have to give her the shot.  We talked about what a funny story that would be to tell our child about how he/she/they were brought into this world.  But a doctor visit a few days before revealed that she did not produce any eggs.  This month of getting the shot was scrubbed.  On top of that my insurance which had paid for all of this was changing the following month, and no longer would cover fertility treatments.  We could not afford the doctor visits, meds, and injections on our own so we had to stop the fertility treatments.  All we had left was to hope that one time she would produce eggs and we would get pregnant without assistance.

During this whole time I started to question God even more as to why this was happening.  We believed, we were faithful, but we just couldn’t understand why we couldn’t have another child yet when we were seeing news stories of people leaving babies in dumpsters or killing them because they didn’t want them.  We prayed for him to help us or give us an answer as to why.  We have always been told that God answers in his time not ours, and one day we would have proof of that.     


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