Posted by: husbandandfatheroffour | January 11, 2013

This Time There Is No Clear Message

Life is difficult enough to figure out on its own, so I sure don’t need other things adding on to the difficulties.  I have had only this kind of moment a few other times in my life but it has never led me wrong.  What is it you ask?  Well it is that inner voice, feeling, spiritual guide, or what ever you want to call it.  You know that thing in your body, heart, and mind telling you something.  For some people it has been to not go down a certain street for some reason, to cancel a flight, or to lead them to move away from somewhere they are happy living.  It is strong inside you and it is too hard to ignore, so you listen to it and low and behold it changed your life forever because of what did or didn’t happen.  It is that feeling you don’t get very often but when you do you know to listen to it.

A little over six years ago I had that happen to me and we moved away from a place we had come to love, a city we felt we would grow old together in and be buried together there.  So when I suggested to my wife that I felt like we needed to sell our house and move from this place and back to her hometown it took her by total surprise. 

I had been having this strong feeling for a couple months then.  I fought with myself almost everyday to whether I should even bring it up to my wife.  The feeling was so strong, so intense, and so clear.  We needed to move back to her hometown.  So I told her and after some discussion and her making very sure that I was sure, we did it.  That move completed our dream of growing our family to the size we always wanted.  We did things that I don’t know if we would have done if we never moved.  I became an EMT and we became foster parents, which led to us adopting a sibling group of 3 – giving us the four kids we always wanted.  I knew right then that it was in no way an accident or luck that I had this feeling and listened to it. 

So you wonder where I am going with this.  Well that feeling is back.  It is strong and loud but this time it is not clear.  All I know is that it is telling me that I am not in the right place.  I have no idea what that means.  Am I at the wrong job, town, state, or country?  Do I live in the wrong house, block, or school district?  It seems like it could be a million things.  I know it doesn’t mean in my marriage, family, or spiritual aspects of my life.  I feel like I am in good places in all of those.  I know there are things I need to do differently and improve on but nothing that would lead me to believe I am in the wrong place in any of those things.  So at least there are 3 things I can eliminate.

I have had these feelings before, about 5 times in my life, but every time those were all clear on what I needed to do.  So right now I am left with this strong and loud feeling of being in the wrong place but with no clear answer to what I am suppose to do about it.  I am sure that one day it will become clear but until then I guess I will just drive my self nuts trying to figure it out.    

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Responses

  1. Just pray about it and your answer will come when you are ready for it.

    • That is all I can do. It is just my human nature to want an answer now. Lol Even though I know His answer comes in His time when it is the perfect time.


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