Posted by: husbandandfatheroffour | July 15, 2013

We Are Already Forgiven

Sometimes I find myself thinking about what negative things I have done or said.  I think about the hurtful words I might have used or nasty comments that are said in the heat of the moment.  I think about actions done out of frustration or just because I didn’t take the time to think things through.  I think about the language I use sometimes and the things I did that I knew were wrong but I did them anyway because of whatever excuse I could come up with that made what I was doing seem alright.  As I think about those things I also realize that I try not to repeat the things I do wrong or say and learn from those mistakes, but sometimes the lack of judgment gets the better of me.  These thoughts can overwhelm me, especially since they seem to come when I am lying in bed for the night or when I am alone in thought with nothing to distract me.

It terrifies me that even though I try to be the best person and Christian I can be that I still sometimes say and do these negative things.  When these thoughts come rushing through my head it makes me feel like I am letting God down and that I do not deserve His love.  I wonder why God would even listen to my prayers if all I seem to do is sin.  I start to feel like I am drifting away from God and that the enemy senses that and it comes full force with all kinds of negative thoughts about myself.  I start to question why God would want anything to do with me and if God doesn’t want me then why would my family want this kind of person around.  I find myself doing nothing but doubting myself.

Just when I feel like I am coming to my lowest point a few weeks ago God does what He does best and shines His light on me.  First, it was through my wife and her comforting words.  Second, it was through family and friends telling me things that they had know idea I needed to hear.  The last one was through my cell phone.  I had missed a few weeks of church (6 to be exact) which in turn meant I missed a few different topics that our pastor had talked about.  I was sitting in my office doing some paperwork when this overwhelming feeling came over me.  When that happened I picked up my phone and went to our church website and went to the list of services I could listen too.  From the list only one topic stood out to me and it was the series he started just two weeks ago and plans doing for most of the summer:  Grace.  After listening to those two services plus going this weekend, my outlook about myself and my relationship with God has changed.

I have always known I was born into a world of sin and I would be a sinner myself.  I know Jesus died on the cross for my sins but that never stopped me, once I knew I did something wrong, from thinking I needed to do something really good to equal everything out.  I would always ask for forgiveness but felt like I never asked enough.  I was in a battle to earn God’s love because even though I was taught that God loves us, I still fought with myself that He loves the good things about us and I had to make up for the bad I did in my life.  Through this series I am learning I am not the only one to think like that.  Also through this series I am realizing I am wrong and I had to get underneath the meaning of Grace to really learn what His Grace is. 

Grace is more than elegance, beauty, loveliness, and capacity to tolerate.  It is God’s unmerited favor.  It is Jesus coming to die on the cross for our sins no matter what they are.  It is that we do not have to continually ask God for his forgiveness because as Jesus said, “It is finished!.”  We are forgiven for all our past, present, and future sins.  It is done and there is nothing we can do to have it taken back.  God’s love and Grace is so great that He gave us a way to Heaven through Jesus Christ because He knew we could never get there on our own by being perfect. 

Now that does not mean I should just go out and do whatever I want because anything I do is forgiven.  Our goal is not to see how much we can get away with before we die because we know we are forgiven.  It is to do as much good and love everyone as much as we can.  It is to make this world a better place to live with love instead of evil and hate.  Just because I am forgiven doesn’t mean I can’t hurt God or another person because of my actions.  He still wants me to do good things and to work on sinning less.  It is through Him that we can make this a better world.  By giving our lives to Jesus and letting Him have control we will open ourselves up to do more good things than we can imagine.  Even though I have believed in God all my life, I am just now starting to let Him have control of my whole life.  It is not easy because as a human I want to think I can control most of what goes on in my life, but to be honest I know there is nothing I can truly control.  There are only choices I can make that can either make my life better or worse.  There are only choices I can make to become a better person or not.  I am realizing that this will be a hard process just because of my sinful nature but I will work on making better choices.  I will continue to give Jesus more and more control of my life until He has total control and then I can do His will and no matter what else happens I will know with no doubt that He has it covered.  Jesus does not promise me an easy life here on earth but He has given me a way to defeat sin, evil, and death through Him.  He has given me a way to have an everlasting life with God in Heaven, where there will be no more sorrow, pain, or any other type of negative feeling.  There will be just His love for us and our love for Him and one another.

It is finished and I am forgiven, so now I will pray for His guidance and will continuously keep improving on my actions, behaviors, and words.  I will let His light shine through me. 

“Well the past is playing in my head and failure knocks me down again.  I’m reminded of the wrong that I have said and done and that devil just won’t let me forget.  In this life I know what I’ve been but here in your arms I know what I am….  I am forgiven, I am forgiven and I don’t have to carry the weight of who I’ve been because I am forgiven.” 
Sanctus Real- Forgiven

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