Posted by: husbandandfatheroffour | September 4, 2013

Funny Crap Our Family Has Said Or Done

What you are about to read are some of the funny things that our whole family has either said or done.  We enjoy laughing with each other when we say or do such ridiculous things. 

Sometimes just to pass time while driving down the road we like to play the quiz game where my wife or I will ask a question and the first one to answers gets a point.  Here are a couple of our favorite answers. 

In which war were the most Americans killed in?  The British Indian war

What is the largest State in America?  (These answers came in rapid fire) Canada! Texas! Mexico! California!

Who was the 16th president?  One child, “Um…. George….um”  Another child yells out, “George Clooney!  Ha I beat you!”

Here are just some other random things that we have said and that we have done.  

Daughter- “I’m Hungry” 
Me- “Hi, I’m Jeff” 
Daughter- “Oookayyy.” *stares for a minute* “I don’t get it are you trying to take my order or something?”

Me “I am going to the Colts game remember?” 
Daughter-“Who are they playing?” 
Me-“Jacksonville” 
Daughter-“Oh that’s in Kentucky so boo them!” 
Me-“What?”
Daughter-“I mean Alabama!”
Me-laughing at her so she asks her mom. 
Wife-“Tennessee? Right?” 
Me-looking at her weirdly to see if she is joking 
Wife-“Oh no wait its Mississippi” she says laughing cause she couldn’t believe she said Tennessee. 
Me- laughing so hard while she just looked on and then all of the sudden her eyes popped wide open and she yells, “Florida!” as she starts to laugh.

A news story came over the radio-“A man, black male, was seen cashing fake checks, if you have any info please contact the police department.”
Wife-“I don’t understand why they can’t catch this guy?” 
Me-“why?” 
Wife-“If they know his last name is Blackmail then why can’t they find him?” 
Me- laughing, “Because they are looking for a black male not someone named blackmail.”

I was driving to work and about halfway I realized that something felt weird on my feet.  I finally had to pull over to see why my shoe felt so weird.  That morning I put my shoes on in the dark and I happened to put one of my Nike shoes and one of my wife’s pink Nike shoe’s on.  Since we both just slip our feet into our shoes without having to tie them I did not notice right away.  Needless to say I was late for work that morning, because there was no way I was going to be seen like that!

Youngest son -“I want to be an architect when I grow up” 
Oldest son -“I want to be a chef” 
Youngest daughter -“I want to be a cop when I grow up” 
Oldest son -“That would be cool because then I could bake you doughnuts because that is what cops eat.”

The tithing basket was being passed around at church and after a few minutes go by our son says- “What do I do with this check?” 
Daughter-“Where did you get that?” 
Son-“I took it from the giving basket.”
Embarrassed I had to run back before they left with the baskets and hurry and place the check back into it.  Smartly, I did it while the pastor was praying so no one would notice.

Daughter-“Marilyn Monroe was so pretty.” 
Wife-“Yes she was.” 
Daughter-“If she didn’t die would she be alive?”

We watched a funny video clips on YouTube of different kinds of funny headlines.  One said: “Princess Diana was alive for hours before she died.”  Our daughter responded in disbelief, “What?! How could she be alive before she died??”  Laughing ensued.

One morning before school my father-in-law was watching the kids as they got ready.  Before they left he asked our oldest son if those were his jeans he was wearing.  My father-in-law thought they looked tight and they had what he thought was a girly pattern on the backside.  Our son was adamant they were his.  My father-in-law told him he did not think they were and he should go change.  My son argued that the jeans were his and instead of arguing with him, my father-in-law relented and let him wear the jeans to school.  When we got home and saw his jeans we noticed that they were super tight on him, and that when he sat down he really wasn’t sitting.  Instead he was sitting at an angle where his butt was barely on the seat and his whole body was stiffly up and down.  You could have put a board perfectly under him.  When we had him stand up the cuffs of his pants barely came to the top of his ankles.  They ended up being his younger sister’s jeans. 

One day my wife and I had to run to the store to pick up a few things.  The kids all wanted to ride along but did not want to go in.  When we got there we went in and got what we needed and left.  When we came back to the car our oldest daughter asked us to look at our oldest son to see if we noticed anything different.  As we looked him over, all of the sudden we noticed he had one eyebrow completely gone and the other one had a line through it.  When asked what happened (it was clear he shaved them), his reply was that he shaved them because he wanted to look like a scientist.  After laughing and talking to him about how he cannot do that to himself, we showed him some pictures of scientists and found not one with missing eyebrows – and told him if anything they had bushy eyebrows, not shaved ones! 

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